Perform; don't be a performer
It is normal to leave the stage
Then she cried out, “Samson! The Philistines have come to capture you!” When he woke up, he thought, “I will do as before and shake myself free.” But he didn’t realize the LORD had left him. Judges 16:20-21 New Living Translation (NLT)
While I was gearing up to write this letter, I thought of a thousand ways people will and do speak about momentum, and how we emphasise it. How much we try to drive the habit of consistent practice into our minds and encourage ourselves to hold dear the sacred virtue of commitment to every task.
I thought about how tightly we cling to momentum. So tightly that we fear that at the slightest release, we fall into an endless loop of inconsistency. How much we like to look at the streak board and see that we have kept a perfect one. Never breaking a second, hour, day, or week.
I thought about how powerful it is to start and finish, and how important it is to teach our minds that if we have said we will do something within a certain time frame, we must first hold on to God as a believer and then do everything humanly possible to keep our word. How hurtful it can be to look back and see a broken record.
All of this was me trying to give a justification for why many people don’t encourage going on breaks, taking a pause, or just reaching an abrupt stop, sometimes, unannounced.
Oh, how we dread the day we break that 156-day streak, thinking this was going to be the year you never miss a day or week of showing up.Hoping that the show never stops and the performance just goes on…
Then, two scenarios were played before me. One: I thought about a swimmer—a pro. How do they survive so long underwater with no oxygen? Is it a sports requirement? And I made some observations. Firstly, for short races, say 50m, these pros go through without a gasp for oxygen. As it extends to 100–200m, they must take their head out of the water, eyes off the race, and mind on survival. Not only for survival’s sake but so they can finish the race. Then I probed, what if they don’t? They trade off time for energy. No gasp for a breath of air equals low oxygen. Low oxygen means low energy. Also, carbon dioxide gets built up. The combination of both can cause fatigue, dizziness, and a lack of focus.
Second scenario: I thought about performance—the skill and talent involved. Many artists, comedians, and speakers have proven so skilful, they can whip off a performance every time they feel like it or get encouraged to. A little encouragement here and there, and the innate ability in them wakes up to take that role. Some have mastered the act of going night after night to entertain, energise, or refresh their audience. You might think they are running on an extra battery. Well, that is the thing about loving what you do—it recharges. So, performers don’t need a script. Most times, they have become one with the craft; they do it unprovoked. But I tell you one thing for sure, no matter how good the performance is, nobody stays on the stage forever.
Then I heard a statement in my spirit: Perform, but don’t be a performer.
Semantical, right? But I pondered, what could this mean? And the Holy Spirit was teaching me that while I have been sent to perform as a preacher, a writer, or whatever other opportunities He provides, I should realise that first and most importantly, I am not called to be any of those things, but to be with Him.
Then He appointed twelve, that they might be with Him and that He might send them out to preach, and to have power to heal sicknesses and to cast out demons. Mark 3:13–15, New King James Version (NKJV)
And I’m thinking, well, I do actually take out time to be with Him. I do study and pray as much as I can—you know how the drive/grind can be. But then I thought about my first love train. I thought about my first encounter—when I first saw His grace. How much I loved Him. All I ever wanted was to be where He was, because first, there was no other place that mattered to me. Boy, was I so satisfied being jobless (I was unemployed) in His presence.
But I mean, there is a second part to the call, where He sends us out to draw others to Him. “Light of the World” gang. And slowly, we started getting used to the work. We come for prayer, study, devotion, meditations, mostly just to hear what He has for the work. We enter performance mode. “What would You have me do?” we love to ask. But He has already said that He called you, that you may be with Him.
We are so eager to work, but He is the one who does the assigning. And when there is no specific assignment, we take initiative. How quickly do we hop on the Great Commission, forgetting that we were first called to be with Him.
I have thought hard about people who say these kinds of things, and how we result-oriented and go-getting individuals find it small-minded and selfish, I dare say. And I must confess—a couple of them might actually not understand the full extent of the call, so they stick to the first part and are not enthusiastic about doing big things for God
But the rest of us that got the memo and have been sent to perform—do we still visit home? If you do, do you take your mind off the assignment to focus on family? I kept thinking about how much we love verses like, “They ministered unto God and fasted, and God sent them.” But in our case, we minister unto God so that He can send us. But the Bible said, “while they were ministering,” not because they were. That was not their goal. They didn’t close their mind to it, most likely, but their focus was to minister to God.
Communion, koinonia, and fellowship before partnership.
I envy people who Google ideas. Not to brag, but I must say, if you are anything like me, who has to grapple with a constant stream of ideas and plans to execute, you find yourself on the go, constantly thinking, “How do we get this done and fast?” Most times, I dull my senses—I don’t want to think again. I was motivated by a certain story of a boy who asked his mom if she thinks at all. And I made an effort to crunch ideas at every turn. But I can’t really say that fellow was called to be with Him, Jesus, as I was three years ago. I am sure all my friends around me have an idea or the other I have discussed with them and how I plan to execute them. Sometimes we do it for the archives; other times, it stays there unattended. Prime performance mode.
In every group of people I found myself in, I always outranked in one way or another. Leadership roles were not alien to me because I was so performance-oriented. Sometimes, I didn’t even bother to ask God if I was the right person to occupy that position and how much it would demand from me. I just asked for grace to perform, and I’d tell you for sure—I thought within me like Samson, “I would go out again and shake them off.” Again and again, I would take swimming bouts, and I would almost never take a gasp for oxygen.
I have lived a very short life here on earth, and honestly, somewhere in me is thinking, isn’t it a bit too early to be saying such a thing? But that is part of the point. I don’t even want to go too far before I realize that I was called to be with Him but I stayed sent.
I don’t know how people stay sent for so long without time in His presence. And when I say time, I mean you won’t see the day. I mean lost in study, worship time. I won’t put a time range to it, but you will know when you have been with Him. I remember now one of the first few comments I received when I started writing. A long-time friend called me from another part of the country. He had come across my writing and he said, “You sound like someone who has been in the Word for a long time.” In all humility, he wasn’t lying. Guess what? That’s not even something to brag about, because as believers, we were all called to be with Him and sound as such.
Honestly, I honour and respect the storied veterans of the kingdom and their testimonies. But it’s difficult to put a timeline to seasons of their lives because we did not live in the same era. But a few people God is using to cause a shaking in my generation—I see them take out time to escape the noise. I hear them talk about hard work. Honestly, I don’t think any generation of pastors has emphasized hard work over the “give me, give me” religious mindset like this generation. But one thing I know they won’t trade for anything is time with God. If it were a story, we could debate it. But I’m living in this era and I know it’s true.
They are not scared that if they don’t show up every week of the year, they will suddenly become irrelevant. In fact, the reverse is the case. The impact is greater upon every return. This is not even about the assignment. If you have truly paid attention, this letter is to tell you: write, but don’t be a writer; sing, don’t be a singer; speak publicly and act, but don’t embody these roles and forget what He truly called you to be—Christ’s.
Please don’t be scared to leave the stage. Many of us are struggling with one habit or the other. Many have an inconsistent prayer life; we barely spend time studying the Bible intently, but we have somehow convinced ourselves to consistently churn out performances. We can spend hours, under pressure, to excellently produce content and execute an assignment—but we slight the presence.
God is calling us to our first estate. Not to discourage us—hence the warning: perform, but do not be a performer.
To be honest, while writing this, I almost started strategising how I can set up a platform for interested people to gather and just bask in God’s presence—but there again, the performance instinct.
It would take effort. The world has brandished a lifestyle that is result-oriented, and I promise you, God does not waste resources. All He has given us must be efficiently utilised.
Some people have been so pressured by this trend that they don’t even realize that when they stand before God in prayer, all they are asking is, when will you get me on that stage?
Well, I don’t know if this message is for everyone. In fact, it might be just for me. But I’m sure someone needed to hear this, too. There were a number of projects I have personally lined up for the year—and nothing wrong with that. What should be done must be done. But something would have to wait whilst I go back to my Sender.
I might have been acting on my strength like other times, but it’s better I get back to my Source before it becomes too late and I won’t know that God has left me. I think I have to take my head above the water and gasp for air. Many times when I have done this—maybe because of a digital detox or for a spiritual exercise—I won’t lie, my mind is still filled with plans and thoughts of how to pick back up. My mind is still working on ideas, strategies. I’m even asking God for inspiration and all. But now I’m hearing God say, Enough.
Come and just learn of Me, He says. Come and find rest—literally. Take your mind off these things that bother. Take your mind off the drawing board. Get off the plans and pay attention to Me. He told Martha:
Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. Luke 10:41–42 King James Version (KJV)
She was “carefully” wrong, wow!
And this time around, I have decided not to get encumbered with many visions and prophecies that are absolutely beautiful, but without proper discernment, can stand in the way of that one thing that is needful—fellowship with God.
I would be off Substack for a period. I honestly think I love Substack more than the average person. And I’m glad we’ve had this time together. This is not goodbye, and I might in fact be back sooner than expected. But I must run back to the One who sent me and just lay everything out before Him and stay with Him for as long as possible.
Till we meet again, remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.
bye for now, friends